This is it [sound recording]

Creighton, Conor2021

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Summary

Conor Creighton came out of the womb chewing his fingernails. A chaotic childhood saw his default mode set to 'generally miserable', so he left home at 17, vowing never to return. The ensuing decades of disorder resulted in chronic anxiety. At rock bottom, he signed up for a ten-day silent meditation retreat. It was hell. His mind threw at him a never-ending collage of regrets, wants and realisations. Then, suddenly, for the first time in nearly 20 years, he felt calm as relief and, eventually, joy washed over him. He learned that meditation has just one goal: to recognise that this is it. There is nothing else. No desire to get anywhere or change or improve anything. When Conor stopped trying to get somewhere or 'be someone' and realised that this, and this alone, is it, his anxiety abated, he learned to like himself and he discovered that he might even be happy.